ARTHUR, ARTHUR	LW/PB
(Sung to:  "Bus Stop" as performed by The Hollies)

Arthur, Arthur, please do something!
Don't wait 'til tomorrow!
Lancelot and Guinevere are
Gonna cause you sorrow!
Ever since you introduced her
To that swine Du Lac,
She has spent each waking moment
Lying on her back!

Ev'ry morning, Lance and Jenny
Sneak out of their sacks,
And then they meet
And form the beast
That has two backs!
Underneath the morning sun,
The kingdom hears them moan;
If someone passes by,
They yell, "Leave us alone!"

Arthur, Arthur, save the honor
Of the name Pendragon!
You must get thee hence and fix that
Horny Frenchman's wagon!
When Du Lac came to this kingdom,
Honor's what he sought,
Then he met your lovely wife
And on 'er's what he got!

Son of Uther, can't you get it
Through your crown-ed skull?
She's fooling 'round
Because he's cute
And you are dull!
She's alone when you get tied up
With affairs of state,
So now she's got
Her own affair,
And you've no mate!

Arthur, she says Lance is only
Her French language tutor,
But the only book they've studied
Is the "Kama Sutra".
He'll bring his love to her chambers
For delivery then.
Arthur, Arthur, stop him 'ere
The male goes through again!