BORN TO WEAR PLAID	JS
(Sung to:  "Born To Be Bad" as performed by George Thorogood)

On the day I was born,
My father stood there and swore
I would follow in the family trade.
Guarding castles and such
May not seem like much,
But it's a test of how a man is made.
I had to learn to be mean
So at the age of thirteen
My father sent me off to training school.
I vowed I wouldn't fail
To earn a coat of mail,
'Cause I never want to look like a fool!

CHORUS:	But when I saw my suit I was dismayed.
	The feeling of embarrassment may never fade.
	In England, heavy armor is the latest fad,
	But being raised in Scotland, I was born to wear plaid!
	BoŠorn ... born to wear plaid!
	I was bo-o-orn ... born to wear plaid!

Now in my twenty-first year
I returned with the fear
That the people that I knew would be rough.
But the other guards
Wore "their" leotards
'Cause it's warmer than to work in the buff.

INTERLUDE

Born to wear plaid,
That's the honor of the Clan.
Under all the pleats
I'm still very much a man!

I went to Aberdeen
For to guard the Queen
There was rumor of a British attack.
Our armor suits were built
To emphasize the kilt,
'Twas protection for our butts that we lacked!

CHORUS

INTERLUDE (What, another one?)

Born to wear plaid,
That's the honor of the Clan.
Under all the pleats
I'm still very much a man!

When the British arrived,
We mustered up our pride
To defend our Queen as warriors true!
They took one look at our clothes,
And the noise level rose,
As they laughed until their faces were blue!

CHORUS