CATAPULT ROCK	LW
(Sung to:  "Crocodile Rock" as performed by Elton John)

I recall when the war'd begun;
We all thought we had this one won.
All our egos they were overblown
'Cause we had a neat weapon that nobody else owned!
We would put the other guys in shock
Just by throwin' out a little ol' rock.
But the thing that would be scarin' off the Huns
Was that each little rock weighed twenty-five tons!
Well, Sergeant hollered, "Let's fire this thing
"Before the fight gets even worse!"
But he didn't seem to understand
That we had to *load* it first!
"Ow!  Segeant!  What's your rush?
"Can I go home and get my truss?
"'Cause this
"Catapult rock is far too heavy for u-u-u-us!"

Well, I tried and tried with my buddy Clyde.
Soon the Huns were bangin' on the door outside.
Gruntin' and growlin' and actin' mean;
We were still loadin' that infernal machine!
When we got it into the cup,
Then the Sergeant yelled, "Send 'er up!"
In the sky it didn't look as large
'Til it came back down and almost landed on Sarge!
Well, Sarge was angry, predictably.
He looked like he had had enough.
"You two jokers nearly splattered me!"
We explained, "Our aim was off!"
Sarge hollered, "Wipe off those smirks!
"I've never met two bigger jerks!"
We replied, 
"At least we know that it wor-or-or-orks!"

We were trapped and we couldn't run,
And the battle was almost done.
For the Huns were in the entry hall
Just directly below us, forty-seven in all!
Then the instrument of our pain
Put the floor under enormous strain.
Didn't know what the creakin' was about
'Til the catapult fell through and wiped the Huns out! (OUCH!)
Landed on 'em!  Squashed 'em flat!
It really shocked ol' Clyde and me!
We would probably be famous for
This brilliant strategy!
Sarge had fixed it just in time,
But its demise was still sublime, 'cause
Sarge was underneath the catapult
At the ti-i-i-ime!